Had never thought my blog would ever cross 100 hits, but crossing 800 ? Out u go Mr. Lara, I have outlasted u by miles :-).
I still remember when I first started blogging, I did it only as an outburst to the "lifeless" life I was leading, where I went pottering around like an automaton from one job to another, from one day to the next, when I used to wake up in the mornings, I used to think "Why do i need to wake up ?" And had no answers to any of my stupid qns...
Incidentally i was sooo much more "not" sad when i was 96 kgs , because then I had no expectations at all frrm anyone, i expected ppl to give shit to me , and they did it, and it was a reinforcing cycle, the only way i knew life to be, but when i started developing expectations, it became a prblm...beeg beeg prblm.
A year later mebbe, I have changed a lot, but the basic premise remains the same, I am still searching for the elusive purpose / relationship to hold on to, something which would assure me of its presence, make me feel secure in my dreams.
When I talk to someone, I dunno wat to really expect of them
But then, this has helped me understand ppl. a lot more than I would normally do, because I have to be ready for all kinds of reactions and know how to negotiate them, afterall every cloud has a silver lining, umm :P
On the institute front, I have been busying myself with the principle "Work Hard, Play Hard", dat way you dont have time to build expectations...Apart from being on the Organizing Team of my B-School Fest, Confluence and various other pprs/ competitions, I have started reading "Euromoney" and "Banker" finally and yeah, Mr. Harry Potter too :-).
And yupp, Dear reader, you are invited to visit IIMA's B-school fest, Confluence from Nov. 24-27, 2005 :-), Juss lemme know if u are coming !
Tkz care :-)
ranjan
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