Was I there ? Were you there ? Atleast you must have partaken some parts of those 60 marauding hours when atleast one country(-wo)man had his or her life flashing away in a moment ? Maybe you did, maybe you did not, but the urge to stand up and not keel over must have surged inside you making all other emotions - love, friendship, mush etc. redundant for that singularly important moment when you decided to not give in anymore. My submission to you is remember the indignation, the searing anger not only today, but everyday so that it never happens again, never again.

The Mumbai act was not in itself an earth-shattering event when it comes to body count, atleast 10-100 times that number died in the Kosi floods (I know money-wise weighted average thing, but those were still humans) -- but the staggering bit was the nous of it all, the feel of utter disregard of the Indian nation, utter disregard for more than 5000 years of history, utter disregard for a 60-year old nation which has stood its own quixotic wind-mills and Napoleanic turnstiles. It was like a child-monster breaking down a mansion and worse, getting away with it. You sure ask yourself in the aftermath, what do we do now ? Where do we start rebuilding, and more importantly, how do we start nipping such monstrosities in the bud ? Would it have not paid to have somebody like W. Bush instead of our thinking, considerate PM who would chase after these guys till God gave way ? Afterall, desperate times need desperate measures.

But is it the Beginning of the End ? The beginning of all-encompassing fear, the fear of a dagger at every nook and every other corner, the fear that drives the Big Brother Paranoia, the fear behind 1984 and V for Vendetta. The worst fall-out is not on the Taj or even on the government, its on us, Laxman's Common Men, who will be subjected to abject scrutiny, liable to thrown into ghoulish gaols for no rhyme, forget reasons - even questions like missing pollution checks on your vehicle acquiring ridiculous proportions. My advice, be afraid of what's next, forget the terrorists, its the Big Bro coming over.

Another talk that sickens me is the talk of Unity - the Indian Sovereignity. Seriously, what does Unity mean to you ? Even after 60 years of literacy, we are fighting Religious and Casteist wars, forget Muslims marrying into Hindus, even different castes of Hindus wage wars on inter-caste marriages, and we talk of f*** unity. We read Newspapers, feel appalled by all the terrorism, sound-byte our friends and neighbors and own-caste people, talk about India Undivided and then go back to our lives of creating divisions in every fragment of the society's fabric - Rich and poor, Hindu and Muslim, Kurmi and Bhoomihar, Brahmin and Rajput and Soldier and Terrorist. What will change us ? I am afraid, even if only 2 Indians were left on our sub-continent, even then they would find differences enough to stay divided. If you are reading this, search yourself and think - Can you stop noticing the next Muslim or Hindu you meet, can you believe in the latent principle of Human equality - all of us need to change, its only good, we start ASAP.

And then, there is the pain. The pain of the lady who lost her to-be in a moment of minutes. The pain of not knowing whether the few with whom you really found luv will be there tomorrow again, and not a painful memory till time chooses to heal you, till the memory becomes a blurr.

And, above all, enjoy every moment you live from now on. Every moment is on the verge of ephermerality, here now, gone next. Live it, for it might never happen again.

Hurt deep down,

Ranjan